You and me

27/03/2009 janine1990
Tags: heartbroken, heartbroken love forget live life memories, love

Sometimes is seems like nothing ever happened between the two of us. I don’t remember your voice anymore, I don’t even know what you look like anymore. You left no footprints in my environment, not one. Everything is gone, except the footprint in my heart. I will always carry my thoughts about you with me. Even though our love had passed, there is still something between us, I can’t describe, but we both know it’s still here. But you need to know, I’m fine. I finally know I can make it on my own and sometimes I even forget about you for a little while.

My friends are still around, they take pretty good care of me. They didn’t leave because of my useless stories about missing you, they made me smile again, I couldn’t have done it without them. I changed, I know. There’s still this life I had before we met, it only changed a bit. I enjoy my weekends, flirt with pretty guys, I drink too much. Because you taught me to, I’m not as scared as I was before.

Together we would be a hundred, but forever didn’t last at us. And I’m still alive, I’m doing fine.

But then you come back around, one way or another, surprising me. Just some little things that remind me of you more and more. Those things make me miss you more than you could ever imagine.

Maybe it’s just my imagination, but those things come more and more often, dreams of you, things I hear. I don’t know what to do about it.

Sometimes it even feels like you’re standing next to me, not in person, more like the wind. And even though I thought I couldn’t remember your voice anymore, sometimes I hear you laugh, when I wonder what to do with some technical stuff. Or when I have some problems I still sometimes hear your voice telling me not to make it all so difficult.

I wonder if you’ll ever let go of me, if you ever give me the chance to totally live my own life. Or that maybe you and I are meant to have a life together. Because, you know, maybe it’s not that we’re not meant to be, maybe we were just not yet ready for forever.

I still see you everywhere, but it’s just memories. People walking the same way you did and still do. People wearing the same clothes you used to wear. And memories are everywhere, walking hand in hand, talking about the future. Memories of the beautiful things you once told me.

But our love is over, I’m doing fine, I will never forget you. But please choose, let go of me forever or love me again. Will you forever have the power over me, will I never get rid of you?